So I thought. And I dreamed. Michael would be awesome too... and maybe even faster! I pretty much convinced myself that's how it would go. So then I waited! I timed regular contractions FOUR different times, each during the night in the weeks prior to his birth, sure that night he was to come. I may have done jumping jacks and lunges one night when the contractions started to putter out. We walked, we hiked, I ate A LOT, had my membranes stripped... we tried all the tricks.
And then at 41 weeks I was still pregnant having regular wimpy contractions that didn't progress. At this point my parents had been here for a week! And my doctor highly recommended induction. Plus he was on leave so I had to bargain my induction date with one of his associates... ugh. So until about 30 minutes before my induction time I still hadn't decided whether I was going to show up. Tyler supported me which ever way and I had a terrible time deciding. By submitting to the induction I knew I wouldn't get the labor I wanted, but for every other reason, induction seemed like the better choice at that point.
So we went for it. Once I decided, I was excited to know it would be only be hours before meeting my baby!! We put Caleb and Luke to bed with special kisses knowing it was the last bedtime of its kind. Then we got our things together and left my mom awake, headed for a sleepless night herself.
9:00pm We arrived at the hospital we learned ours was the only induction that night and when we entered our room found Michael's tags & blankets all ready for him on the baby warmer. It was sweet! We took a few pictures, I got dressed in the glamorous attire, and nestled in.
9:30pm We were then greeted by Bridget and Dr. Inau. One of our neighbor-friends is a resident doctor on my doctor's team, so he knew exactly who would be working with us that night. His wife Kelly gave me a heads up and them as well! We had fun talking about our mutual acquaintance and made a plan to start. It was a hilarious dynamic because Bridget, our nurse, is this super experienced, older, African American woman from the real LA, like. L. A. And our doctor is just 3 years out of medical school, quiet, smart, of Asian decent. Bridget was really in charge. For reals. It was funny (but good)!
The first thing was to monitor my contractions and baby's heart rate.
10:30pm Dr. Inau was so happy to see that I was contracting every 7-8 minutes on my own and baby's heart rate was great! I was only dilated to a 1/2, posterior and super high. She suggested that we just walk the halls for a couple of hours to let them get stronger. I appreciated that natural approach SOOOOO much! But I declined. Those were the same painless contractions I had timed on and off for FOUR WEEKS. They weren't taking me anywhere. Looking back, maybe I should have given them one more chance. But we had hiked a 3 mile hilly route at 6pm that night to no avail! I didn't think 2 hrs of hospital halls would do anything for me. Bridget agreed. "She's here for an induction. Let's induce her." So then Dr. Inau got on board and suggested and folio bulb and pitocin at the same time. Bridget suggested we just do one at a time... we just started with the folio bulb. (Same thing I did with Caleb.) The bulb created a little pain and contracting, but not much. She tied a bag of water to then of it. "You're here for an induction, right?" stated Bridget.
12:15am Bulb comes out easily. Dilated to a 3. Contractions completely stop. I paced a little because I knew pitocin was next which meant IV in and I would be mostly bed-bound.
12:30 Start pitocin. Have I told you that I hate that stuff? Contractions almost immediately 2 minutes apart and lasting for a solid minute. It starts to hurt. And then it really hurts.
2:00 Check dilation and only a 7 and still super high. I was hoping for 10 and the urge to push to be right around the corner. At this point I was a little hopeful that I could still have part of my dream labor! But the 7 was disappointing. Epidural please! I can tell we're in for the long haul. Might as well be comfortable!
2:30 Now that I've given up my dream and committed to the needle in my spine, WHERE IS THE ANESTHESIOLOGIST?!
2:45 He finally arrives. Tyler chats his ear off and it takes him 11 minutes to get it done. He says his usual is 90 seconds! He leaves disappointed in himself, but still chatting away with Tyler. Lots of relief comes, but obviously very bed-bound and covered in tubes, monitors, blah blah blah. Being so tangled up is one of the worst parts for me.
3:20 Cervix at 8! Break water! We are confident my body will take over and finish it out at this point so we stop pitocin. We think breaking my water will help the baby descend. Call my doctor who promised to deliver our son even though he was on vacation all week.
4:00ish Discover we are wrong on both accounts. Baby does not descend and contractions have COMPLETELY STOPPED. Restart pitocin. Suddenly Dr. Crabill bursts into the room in jeans and breathless! "I'm here!" He remembered that Luke was fast and was sure, as was I, that Michael would be just as fast, if not faster. "You're not going to miss it. You can go change your clothes."
5:40 Reach a 10!! But baby is STILL high. They ask if I want to start pushing but I don't feel much urge so we decide to wait a bit.
6:30ish I'm feeling this strip of pain in my lower back and mirrored in the front. We try pumping the epidural but it doesn't help. We try pushing through a few contractions - Bridget wants to see our baby!! But they say my pushes are super weak and we decide to wait.
7:00am Bridget goes home super disappointed. She had predicted a baby by 4:00am. I am disappointed too. Meet Nurse Tanya. Still fully dilated! Still really hurting in my back. Baby still high. Try pushing again but I don't feel the urge and my whole body feels weak and like the pushes are weird and I can't get in a good position. Decide to wait again and ask for my epidural to be completely turned off. Nurse thinks that's extreme and we bargain to cutting it in half.
7:30am Different anesthesigologist comes in and turns my epidural from 8 to 5. He thought half was extreme... He was surprised I wasn't dying to push because 8 is already low. Most women with them deliver with 12 he says.
8:15am Pain in back gets worse but urge to push still missing. I feel like we could play this game of trying and waiting all day and I'm in pain anyways, so I call the nurse and say let's do this!! Somebody has got to do something! She agrees and casually sits on the bed. We push through several contractions.
8:35am Already wishing I were done! But the baby still hasn't descended - my pushes have done nothing! Tanya says she can feel all the way around his head -there is definitely room! "No forceps or vacuum until you have pushed for several hours." Okay, I am NOT pushing for several hours! I had the hardest time getting my heart behind the pushes. It all just felt off! Nothing like when I pushed for Luke, but a lot like pushing for Caleb.
8:40am We call a second nurse to help hold my legs since I do a little better with that. She is a saint who helps me push from different positions which totally works!! He moves down! Dr. Crabill finally comes in and starts getting suited up. He is the first person to say things that really help me push my hardest and move the baby!!! So glad he's there!!! Finally start getting some relief from the back pain right in the middle of my pushes.
9:00am He is slowly coming. I reach down and feel his head a few times between contractions which gives me a little motivation to keep going.
9:15am We've been pushing for an hour which totally stinks, but I'm finally kind of feeling like I'm doing it right! Dr. Crabill announces that it will only take me a couple more pushes which Tanya is surprised at, but I LOVED hearing!! He puts on his final gear and they move the bed and I give it my all. A new level of all.
9:26am Michael arrives face up!!! Everyone is surprised! Part of the mystery about being so overdue and staying high for so long and the back pain and the weird pushing perhaps solved. They put him immediately on my belly and I love him.
He has lots of super dark brown hair like Caleb but perhaps a little more of it. His poor sweet head has a lop-sided cone-head thing from that lovely hour I spent pushing him out. He is super purple and only gets an 8/10 on his initial APGAR due to his color. They rub him for a while to get the blood flowing. He popped sometime between water breaking and delivery as there is meconium in the water. The he pees on me in the first few minutes (also like Caleb!).
Between being 8 days overdue and the long pushing, I kind of started to believe I'd never see him! I hardly know what to say except hello and I love you. I tear up but have never been a happy crier so I just smile instead and ask Tyler to get the camera.
We had pretty much settled on the name Michael Clark a few months ago, but we exchange a few words confirming that choice now that he's here.
Dr. Crabill stitches me up and I can't feel it which is a fabulous first! Despite the sunny-side up arrival, my tear is no worse than with the other two. (Second degree.)
I nurse him a little and we snuggle for over an hour. Tyler announces Michael to the world via his phone and takes a turn holding him. We feel so blessed and surreal. He's actually finally here!!!
10:30/11:00 The staff ask whether I think he's smaller or bigger. (My other two boys were 8 lb 6 oz & 8 lb 10 oz.) I really can't tell - he's so small! So I guess smaller. So they take him to measure and wash him - do all that stuff in the warmer. We all gasp when the scale reads 9 lb, 7.6 oz!
So even though I didn't get my dream labor, I did get my dream labor because I got Michael. What more could I ask for?
It's such a miracle that we have made it this far in Michael's life with him healthy and happy. We are desperately trying to savor each day and smell that unique newborn smell every chance we get, without ignoring our other two little (but relatively huge!) miracles. I can feel how fleeting it is and I know there are SOOO many fun stages ahead, but his newness still feels a little bit like sand slipping through my fingers.
Whatever comes our way, we are so grateful to have our own little Michael Clark forever as a very important part of our family.
So we went for it. Once I decided, I was excited to know it would be only be hours before meeting my baby!! We put Caleb and Luke to bed with special kisses knowing it was the last bedtime of its kind. Then we got our things together and left my mom awake, headed for a sleepless night herself.
9:00pm We arrived at the hospital we learned ours was the only induction that night and when we entered our room found Michael's tags & blankets all ready for him on the baby warmer. It was sweet! We took a few pictures, I got dressed in the glamorous attire, and nestled in.
9:30pm We were then greeted by Bridget and Dr. Inau. One of our neighbor-friends is a resident doctor on my doctor's team, so he knew exactly who would be working with us that night. His wife Kelly gave me a heads up and them as well! We had fun talking about our mutual acquaintance and made a plan to start. It was a hilarious dynamic because Bridget, our nurse, is this super experienced, older, African American woman from the real LA, like. L. A. And our doctor is just 3 years out of medical school, quiet, smart, of Asian decent. Bridget was really in charge. For reals. It was funny (but good)!
The first thing was to monitor my contractions and baby's heart rate.
10:30pm Dr. Inau was so happy to see that I was contracting every 7-8 minutes on my own and baby's heart rate was great! I was only dilated to a 1/2, posterior and super high. She suggested that we just walk the halls for a couple of hours to let them get stronger. I appreciated that natural approach SOOOOO much! But I declined. Those were the same painless contractions I had timed on and off for FOUR WEEKS. They weren't taking me anywhere. Looking back, maybe I should have given them one more chance. But we had hiked a 3 mile hilly route at 6pm that night to no avail! I didn't think 2 hrs of hospital halls would do anything for me. Bridget agreed. "She's here for an induction. Let's induce her." So then Dr. Inau got on board and suggested and folio bulb and pitocin at the same time. Bridget suggested we just do one at a time... we just started with the folio bulb. (Same thing I did with Caleb.) The bulb created a little pain and contracting, but not much. She tied a bag of water to then of it. "You're here for an induction, right?" stated Bridget.
12:15am Bulb comes out easily. Dilated to a 3. Contractions completely stop. I paced a little because I knew pitocin was next which meant IV in and I would be mostly bed-bound.
12:30 Start pitocin. Have I told you that I hate that stuff? Contractions almost immediately 2 minutes apart and lasting for a solid minute. It starts to hurt. And then it really hurts.
2:00 Check dilation and only a 7 and still super high. I was hoping for 10 and the urge to push to be right around the corner. At this point I was a little hopeful that I could still have part of my dream labor! But the 7 was disappointing. Epidural please! I can tell we're in for the long haul. Might as well be comfortable!
2:30 Now that I've given up my dream and committed to the needle in my spine, WHERE IS THE ANESTHESIOLOGIST?!
2:45 He finally arrives. Tyler chats his ear off and it takes him 11 minutes to get it done. He says his usual is 90 seconds! He leaves disappointed in himself, but still chatting away with Tyler. Lots of relief comes, but obviously very bed-bound and covered in tubes, monitors, blah blah blah. Being so tangled up is one of the worst parts for me.
3:20 Cervix at 8! Break water! We are confident my body will take over and finish it out at this point so we stop pitocin. We think breaking my water will help the baby descend. Call my doctor who promised to deliver our son even though he was on vacation all week.
4:00ish Discover we are wrong on both accounts. Baby does not descend and contractions have COMPLETELY STOPPED. Restart pitocin. Suddenly Dr. Crabill bursts into the room in jeans and breathless! "I'm here!" He remembered that Luke was fast and was sure, as was I, that Michael would be just as fast, if not faster. "You're not going to miss it. You can go change your clothes."
5:40 Reach a 10!! But baby is STILL high. They ask if I want to start pushing but I don't feel much urge so we decide to wait a bit.
6:30ish I'm feeling this strip of pain in my lower back and mirrored in the front. We try pumping the epidural but it doesn't help. We try pushing through a few contractions - Bridget wants to see our baby!! But they say my pushes are super weak and we decide to wait.
7:00am Bridget goes home super disappointed. She had predicted a baby by 4:00am. I am disappointed too. Meet Nurse Tanya. Still fully dilated! Still really hurting in my back. Baby still high. Try pushing again but I don't feel the urge and my whole body feels weak and like the pushes are weird and I can't get in a good position. Decide to wait again and ask for my epidural to be completely turned off. Nurse thinks that's extreme and we bargain to cutting it in half.
7:30am Different anesthesigologist comes in and turns my epidural from 8 to 5. He thought half was extreme... He was surprised I wasn't dying to push because 8 is already low. Most women with them deliver with 12 he says.
8:15am Pain in back gets worse but urge to push still missing. I feel like we could play this game of trying and waiting all day and I'm in pain anyways, so I call the nurse and say let's do this!! Somebody has got to do something! She agrees and casually sits on the bed. We push through several contractions.
8:35am Already wishing I were done! But the baby still hasn't descended - my pushes have done nothing! Tanya says she can feel all the way around his head -there is definitely room! "No forceps or vacuum until you have pushed for several hours." Okay, I am NOT pushing for several hours! I had the hardest time getting my heart behind the pushes. It all just felt off! Nothing like when I pushed for Luke, but a lot like pushing for Caleb.
8:40am We call a second nurse to help hold my legs since I do a little better with that. She is a saint who helps me push from different positions which totally works!! He moves down! Dr. Crabill finally comes in and starts getting suited up. He is the first person to say things that really help me push my hardest and move the baby!!! So glad he's there!!! Finally start getting some relief from the back pain right in the middle of my pushes.
9:00am He is slowly coming. I reach down and feel his head a few times between contractions which gives me a little motivation to keep going.
9:15am We've been pushing for an hour which totally stinks, but I'm finally kind of feeling like I'm doing it right! Dr. Crabill announces that it will only take me a couple more pushes which Tanya is surprised at, but I LOVED hearing!! He puts on his final gear and they move the bed and I give it my all. A new level of all.
9:26am Michael arrives face up!!! Everyone is surprised! Part of the mystery about being so overdue and staying high for so long and the back pain and the weird pushing perhaps solved. They put him immediately on my belly and I love him.
He has lots of super dark brown hair like Caleb but perhaps a little more of it. His poor sweet head has a lop-sided cone-head thing from that lovely hour I spent pushing him out. He is super purple and only gets an 8/10 on his initial APGAR due to his color. They rub him for a while to get the blood flowing. He popped sometime between water breaking and delivery as there is meconium in the water. The he pees on me in the first few minutes (also like Caleb!).
Between being 8 days overdue and the long pushing, I kind of started to believe I'd never see him! I hardly know what to say except hello and I love you. I tear up but have never been a happy crier so I just smile instead and ask Tyler to get the camera.
We had pretty much settled on the name Michael Clark a few months ago, but we exchange a few words confirming that choice now that he's here.
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| His midnight blue eyes. |
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| Dr. Crabill & Nurse Tanya |
10:30/11:00 The staff ask whether I think he's smaller or bigger. (My other two boys were 8 lb 6 oz & 8 lb 10 oz.) I really can't tell - he's so small! So I guess smaller. So they take him to measure and wash him - do all that stuff in the warmer. We all gasp when the scale reads 9 lb, 7.6 oz!
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| If you're doing the math, he waited a solid 6 hrs to greet Michael since his middle-of-the-night phone call. So grateful for Dr. Crabill. |
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| All clean! |
It's such a miracle that we have made it this far in Michael's life with him healthy and happy. We are desperately trying to savor each day and smell that unique newborn smell every chance we get, without ignoring our other two little (but relatively huge!) miracles. I can feel how fleeting it is and I know there are SOOO many fun stages ahead, but his newness still feels a little bit like sand slipping through my fingers.
Whatever comes our way, we are so grateful to have our own little Michael Clark forever as a very important part of our family.
Thanks for sharing, Nicole! What a beautiful baby. That sounds like a completely frustrating labor, but I'm glad it turned out perfectly in the end.
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