19 Years

Nineteen years ago today I was baptized a member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints. (I didn't feel old about turning 27 until I realized that it's been nearly 2 decades since that day. Ugh!) If I had a copy of that picture here I would post it. I wore a light blue dress with pink flowers and lace at the hems and sleeves. I also wore my big plastic purple-rimmed glasses. I had bangs and shoulder-length brown hair. A little bit lighter brown than it is now.

I remember a few things about that experience. I remember my interview with Bishop Shaw a few days before when he asked me if I believed in God and Jesus Christ. We talked about the covenant we make at baptism - to follow Jesus Christ, keep His commandments, and to take His name upon us. I assured Bishop Shaw that I wanted to make those promises to God, although I'm sure I did that in very few words, as I was pretty shy back then.

I remember going to the chapel on the 24th. The warm water already filled the font when we got there and some of our friends were setting up cookies for after the ceremony. My dad pulled me aside to practice where my arms would go and how I could plug my nose as he dipped me in the water. We had been practicing for a week or so. I was grateful for the instruction.

I had asked my Primary teacher to give the talk on the Holy Spirit. I adored her. She was newly married and lived near our house. She had perfect teeth and always a big smile for me. (A few weeks after my baptism, while her husband was away on an extended business trip, she had to get her appendix out. So of course my mom insisted that she stay at our house, on the couch, while she recovered. I was thrilled! I would climb onto the couch with her and stay there talking until my mom would say it was time to leave her alone... poor woman! She was so sweet to me.)

A large quilt was the object of her talk. "The Holy Ghost is a Comforter," she told me. "Come up here and feel how it feels to be wrapped up in it." I obeyed and it was warm and comfortable and cozy.

I remember being excited to be washed clean of all my sins and to have the chance at a fresh start. I wanted also to be an official member of Jesus' church.

I remember my dad giving me a big hug after he baptized me and I just loved him and savored how happy he was for me. My mom waited for me as I came out of the font and helped me into dry clothes.

Next my dad used his Priesthood to bless me with the Gift of the Holy Ghost. I don't remember the words he said, but I do remember feeling the companionship of the Spirit afterword.

We sang, and prayed, and ate cookies. People gave me cards and little gifts. I still have a bookmark that says, "Jesus loves me" that Sister Holt gave me that day. :)

As we headed home, and all 7 of us piling into our van (It just occurs to me right now for the first time that my mom was super pregnant with my youngest sister that day! She gave birth 15 days later - what a saint!)

I remember feeling the Spirit so strong and thinking, "I'm going to be good forever. I'm not going to make any more mistakes. Not ever!" I wanted so badly to obey Christ and be good.

Unfortunately my resolve didn't last long as I argued with my older sister on the car ride home. :( I felt pretty bad.

But then the real work began as I learned to ask for forgiveness, to repent, and try again to be good. As I've learned and practiced this process over and over again, I've become incredibly more grateful for my Savior. It's through His power we are made clean.

I'm so grateful for that choice 19 years ago. It's brought me more joy than I could ever hope to measure.